Constructive communication

In this section we look at constructive communication, watch our video and go through the four exercises that will give you tools to use to help you communicate better.

Watch this video and then follow the exercises below about constructive communication.

There are 4 exercises below:

Exercise 1 - Constructive versus Destructive behaviour

Look at the cards below and after reading each card do you think they are a constructive or destructive behaviour.

Having a solution in mind to the problem and don't change your mind

Show you understand the other person's point of view

Ending an arguement both feeling that you have been heard

Interrupting to get your point of view across

Recognising that whilst you may not agree, your partner has a valid point

Listening to the other point of view without interrupting

Withdrawing from the conversation as it's not going your way

Usiing examples from the past to prove you're right

Considering issues from somebody else's point of view

Pointing out your partner's flaws when they support your argument

Raising your voice to make sure you get your point of view across

Allow each other the opportunity to express your views

Explaining how the situation is making you feel

Using insults to make your point and share your feelings

Offering possible solutiions to problems but be willing to compromise and listen to other suggestions

Now re-read each card and consider if you have used them in your relationship.

Do you never use them, sometimes use them or always use them?

You can watch the video again for examples.

Exercise 2 - In our relationship

In our realtionship we toolkit. Look at the cards again and where would you put the statements In our raltionship we - Always, Sometimes, Never? How could you change a desructive behaviour and increase postitive behaviour

Click on the image for a pdf which you can download and print if you wish.

Exercise 3 - Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviour

Have a look at the example below of how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are linked and then have a think of your own.

Thoughts and feelings toolkit. I see, I think, I feel, I behave

Click on the image for a pdf which you can download and print if you wish.

Exercise 4 - You versus I

Find out how using the word 'I' instead of 'You' can help you communicate better.

Take a look at the 'You versus I ' cards below and think about how you use these words in your day to day communication and what effect they have on the rest of your conversation.

Beginning with 'You' can lead to conflict whereas beginning with 'I' can help the conversation be constructive.

'You' cards